Thursday, January 27, 2005

Tony's terror threat

Our beloved new Home Secretary, Charles "Fatty" Clarke, has announced HMG's response to the Law Lords' ruling that the detention without trial of terrorist suspects at the Belmarsh Hilton was illegal. The Home Office's reading of the judgment is that the detention is unlawful because it discriminates against people who are not British citizens - i.e. only Johnny foreigner could be banged up without so much as a by-your-leave.

So we are going to have a new system where anyone the Government thinks might be a bit dodgy can be put under indefinite house arrest. No trial, no right to challenge the accusation, no right to see the evidence. Oh no, that might prejudice national security. Instead, we have to accept the word of a politician that it is all tickety-boo. Of course, as our politicians are the best in the world, they're bound to get it right, and there is clearly no chance of double standards. After all, they are as Caesar's wife - not only pure, but seen to be pure. Certainly, it would be unthinkable for a Home Secretary to have to resign because he'd fiddled his expenses or cuckolded someone. So that's all right, then.

I think I must be missing the blindingly obvious. Of all the countries in Western Europe, which St Tony assures us are at risk from a bunch of evil ragheads, only the UK has decided it needs to be able to act like a banana republic. At this rate, we'll all become terrorists simply to reassert the fundamental freedoms we thought we had. Even good old King John had to concede on habeas corpus; he clearly needed a better First Lord of the Treasury to advise him.


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